Beopgo Changsin: Create a new one after imitating the old one.
1. foundation
The light dimmed. The wick braided his own body. I held a lamp. It’s light, It needed to be filled with oil. I had to finish this study today. Thanks to the king’s grace, I was also given the opportunity to study. I’ve never seen anyone actually elected, but… . I don’t know. I might be the first If I take the exam, so if I become an official, I will at least make sure that there are no people starving to death. Yesterday, I heard that a newborn baby in the lower village starved to death. I heard that he was buried somewhere nearby, the baby’s grave was too small to be found.
My father, who sells rice, always looks at me and says that I am clever because I resemble him. What’s the point of being smart? There are words that I can’t even read yet because I can’t study because I had to work. Tonight, as always, the letters were eventually engulfed in darkness. Ah, forget it. That’s it. I leaned my head against the cold wall. The moonlight pierced through the shoji paper and landed on the floor in a pale blue light. I have several thoughts. If I had been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I would have been able to study non-stop during the day. Today was an exceptionally hot day. While trying to help my father fertilize the paddy fields, I stomped on rice that had not yet grown sufficiently, and was severely scolded by my father. It’s a mistake I don’t usually make. It was hot and I was restless. If my mother hadn’t thrown away all the meals that my mother brought for us and let him stop hitting me, it would hurt so hard that I couldn’t study. That’s not the problem, it’s supposed to rain tomorrow. It had been a few days of drought, so my father was very sensitive.
Wouldn’t it be great if the day comes when everyone can study the same and everyone can dream of a better world? What If we learn together at the same time and in the same space… . Last time, when the markets were held, I was walking around the street with Sundol and talking about this, and I was slapped on the cheek by a nobleman who was passing by. It still seems tingly. I guess I’ll have to start studying again. If I go to the stream, I might find a few fireflies wandering astray. I can’t believe I’m really going to do this shit.

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A river at night is always a place to be careful. Because you never know when the tiger will appear. But there was no need to worry. All the water in the river was dry. There will be no deer that come to drink water. I hope the tiger knows that too. Still, I could see things moving around with twinkling in the grass where the water was stagnant. Catching them was not as easy as I thought. If I tried to catch it, It turned off the lights on its body and disappeared into the darkness. On the moonlit night, sweating profusely, I caught only five of them. There wouldn’t be any other choice. I didn’t even have the confidence to study because I was too exhausted. I released the five caught in the cotton cloth. They might think they were alive from death, so they quickly flew into the sky. The sky I looked up at was embroidered with stars. If I could sweep only all those stars, I could light the lamp. The star was shining brightly, ironically.

2. pillars and walls

“The wind blew and I held my head up.”
‘The wind blu….’
Before I could even finish the sentence, the whip slammed my hand hard. The pencil bounced off my hand and fell to the floor.
“Itai!(痛い!It hurts!)”
Because of me speaking Japanese, my mother lit a fire wick in her eyes and hit my hands even more painfully.
“Your father is having such a hard time because of completing a Korean dictionary, but you can’t get this easy spelling right?”

Tears welled up in my eyes over my mother’s harsh words. What should I do if things don’t go my way? Tears dripped down my thighs. My mother stared at me like a tiger, and then she got up and left the room. Only then did I cry out loud. I cried and cursed in both Japanese and Korean. All I learn at school is the royal language(Japanese). Why do I have to come home and learn Korean again? I hated learning Korean by forcing my closed eyes to open every night. I cried so much that my eyes were puffy and I felt more sleepy.

Someone warmly caresses the back of my hand. It was my mother. Mommy was crying. I was so startled that I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. For a long time, without saying a word, my mother only patted the back of my hand, which was burning red. The wind blew through the small open window and I heard the sound of grasshoppers. It tickles and feels good, so I started to fall asleep again.

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“The starry sky is beautiful.”
‘The starry sky is beautiful.’
My mother made a face that I had never seen since I was born. She wasn’t smiling, but I didn’t think she was angry, I don’t know if she was in a good mood or bad. I gulped.
“Well done.”

The mother’s voice trembled. She then grabbed my shoulder once and she walked out of the room. I heard the sound of a stalk being broken. There was also the sound of a swish, a throw, and a crash into the ground. I was happy to fly. I was so happy that I didn’t have to be beaten anymore and that I could no longer see my mother’s tears. Picking up the paper, I ran to my mother. I held my mother tightly and unfolded my paper. I pointed to the ‘star’ and pointed to the sky. A brightly shining star came out and lit the mother, me, and the letter ‘star’.

3. roof

Not this time, No. Again, the works I’ve done are just deleted without being saved. Damn this company, buy a good computer and do whatever you ask them to do. Time already past 9 o’clock. I didn’t even eat dinner, let alone lunch. If I die from overwork, can I be treated as an industrial accident? Oh forget it. What do I expect from a company that doesn’t even pay overtime pay? Roll up the chair and get up. My head hurts. Legs tremble. It seems that blood circulation is not good after sitting all day. My friend, who inherited a large cafe from his parents, told me to do yoga. Was he making fun of me? Or does he really believe that I have time for it? When I get home, I get busy falling asleep. What kind of life is this? What does it mean to live like this? Oh, I know what I need. Chicken and beer.

Instead of yoga, I wanted to walk a little today. Let’s walk slowly. If I walk fast, I may get muscle pain after a long workout. It was nice to walk. It was the end of summer, so it wasn’t too hot. Humans or dolls who look similar to me passed by me. The scent of the perfume one of them sprayed in the morning spread on the tip of the brushed hair. Mapo Bridge is visible at the end of the line of sight. Pause for a moment and meditate. Can I walk on that long bridge? If you go halfway and regret it, it’s a big deal. Should I take the bus here? I thought for a while, I don’t know how I came to a conclusion. Did the varicose veins in the thighs make it that way? Or maybe the shoes that were on sale at half price last week at the end of the season were enchanted. I walked towards the bridge.

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No more inscriptions were engraved on the railings of Mapo Bridge. How could I never know that It was gone long ago. Whatever, those useless words used to gleam painfully in my eyes. Still, I’m sad that it’s gone. There were times when I was comforted just by thinking of people who want to take care of someone like me. Now, instead of letters, they built a high fence so that someone could not fall no matter what he has tried. So, It means ‘go somewhere else and die’. It’ll be hard to find if you fall down into that large river. If you can’t find them one by one, the Han River will be infested with rot. I leaned against the railing, thinking, ‘What if there is someone who has already fallen down?’ Fortunately, what caught my eye wasn’t the lumpy corpse, but the night view of the city reflected in the water. It sways like seaweed with the wind. Come to think of it, how long has it been since I ate a proper meal?

It may be a funny story, but the light of the city comforts my heart for nothing. They must be people who remain at the company later than me. Is it the mind of ‘I’d rather be better’? Or is it the heart of sympathy? I took a deep breath and then exhaled ‘Hoo’. It must have been half dust and half air, but it felt a little cooler inside. I’m just in tears. Oh, how pathetic. I really thought there would be no feelings left inside of me. The stars of the city shine brightly along today.

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Instead of the famous heroes we learn from history books, it was ordinary people who led our country to this point, as above, who lived their daily lives diligently. All the actions I do involuntarily create new things and provide the driving force to move forward even if it is difficult right now. If your night is darker today than usual, I hope that the stars will shine even more so that you can capture the shining stars with your own eyes.

Editor Kim Ju Young